Why today, on the 18th of December, am I beginning to readdress my long-abandoned blog- so cold and lonely out there in the inter web all on it's lonesome with no new posts to speak of- on this day that is rainy and quiet?
After a three month absence of a roomate (gone to Mexico for the semester to take in Ouaxacan cuisine and spanish tongue) and the beautiful distraction of a wonderful companion in the past 5 months... I am choosing to reignite my blogging.
A lot has happened.
Grad school applications is the first big decision. I realized that my artistic practice has fallen, to my sadness, by the wayside. I love making art but my time has been consumed by work since I moved to this city. I am deeply inspired with many ideas that I haven't had the time to put into reality.
Also, a while back at a poetry reading, surrounded by intellectuals and creative, brilliant people I realized how my I missed academia. Granted, undergrad was not the freedom I fully desired. I still had to study subjects I wasn't entirely fond of. But now with the possibility of studying what I want and taking that direction as my full responsibility is my dream, my desire, my hope. Naturally, I'm terrified. Subjecting myself to the criticism of an institution is probably the last thing I would willingly subject myself to- out of the fear of rejection and criticism. But both of these things exist in the art world and every world.
I will apply with a full heart and honest soul. If they like my work, with hope I will be going to school in the fall....
In tandem with this grad school decision I have acquired a small studio space in which to make all manner of things. I bought a sewing machine for $40 and a desk and chair set for $21 and one can say I have successfully set up shop and I am creating my work efficiently and happily. The space is tiny, but with little to no distraction. The only distraction in the building could possibly be the enormous furnace in the bathroom/store closet that is 20 degrees warmer than the hallway/studios. Sometimes if I get too cold I make up a reason to go the the bathroom again, just to warm up. Of course, I don't actually need to justify this to myself of anyone else, but in the nearly absolute solitude it's important to break out of the rhythm from time to time and engage the mind in ways outside of pure concentration.
My hope is to join up with two other friends and open a stand at the Fremont market where we will each sell our wares under our "company" names. Look for stuffed animals and postcards at a market stand in Fremont SOON!
Outside of these business like things...
I have found someone dear with whom I am matched. Our adventure began at the end of August and has continued to be as magical as the first day we met, with the natural ups and downs of life. I hope he stays for a long time...
